First, I want to declare how much I wish I could watch the Ellen show everyday because I think she is amazing! Second, We watched this clip in my stress management class yesterday and it really triggered something in me, so I automatically knew that a post dedicated to this topic was a MUST!!!!
What do you think about this video?
Ego, what is it to you? Pride? etc….
In this clip, it starts off defining what Ego is, Dr. Wayne W. Dyer states, “Most people don’t even realize, the ego is just an idea. It’s an idea that we carry around about who we are.”
I completely agree, I mean there are people with super high egos thinking that nothing will destroy them….is that person indestructable though? Don’t we all try to act bigger, better, stronger so that we can intimidate others, or not have to ask for help?….lets move on with the clip.
Dr. Dyer, then states something his teacher in India said to him, “The ego is the fall of self. So, we carry around this idea and if you look at the moment you were conceived, and the first 9 months of your life, in that entire time period you didn’t have to do anything….and then your born, and everyone around you, your parents say ‘Really good work God, we’ll take over from here’. That’s the big mistake, that’s when we start edging God out…E-G-O. We edge out the source, we edge out the place we all originated, the place to which all of us will return. It’s a return trip. We are all going back to that formless invisible spirit that we all emanated from.”
That is powerful. E-G-O. You know, there have been many times in my life when I have attempted to edge everyone out from giving me help because I was so lost, and confused and had too much pride to ask for help. Instead, I turned to shopping all the time, overeating to point where I wish I could throw up (but never did b/c I have a phobia of throw up) and wanted to just hide in a corner away from humanity so no one could see my downfall. When I left high school the expectations the people surrounding me was that I was to become one of the BEST collegiate Division 1 volleyball players in the country, and then to move on to being the BEST on the AVP tour. This was my dream as well, but I added extra pressure on myself. SO, when I was going through my mental breakdown, things were 40 times harder for me to deal with and move on because I was edging God out along with everyone else in my life….and I needed to ask for their help more than anything….lets move on with the clip….
Dr. Dyer then states, “So, the ego, what we do is we learn, we start training our children ‘you are what you have’, and so we spend a lot of our time and our energy believing that the more we accumulate and the more stuff we can get that makes us more valuable and then we begin to associate our value as a person on the basis of what we accumulated, what we have. Then we put more training in and say, ‘not only you are what you have, but you are what you do’. So, we go to school, and all of these kinds of things learning to do, do, do, more and more things. The problem is that when you believe you are what you do, when you don’t, when your show gets cancelled, when things like that happen in your life, you just believe you dont have any value anymore and then we start to train our children that you are what other people think of you.”
BIG 3 components of the EGO
1. You are what you have
2. You are what you do
3. You are your reputation
I completely agree with this for the most part. My parents did an outstanding job raising my sister and I. I couldn’t have asked for better parents because they never taught me any of that. They always taught us to work hard in order to get the things we want out of life, whether it be anywhere from materialistic things to a stronger relationship with the Lord. Now, does that mean we are what we do? NO! We are all human, so just because one night out of the entire year I decide to go crazy and drink 4 glasses of wine and I get drunk does not mean I am an alcoholic. My parents also taught us to not worry about a reputation. They taught us that if you work hard in everything in your life, whether it be school, relationships, or just physical activity, and be a good loving caring person then there is no need to worry about reputation. I have been very lucky throughout my life to never have been bullied, made fun of (to extremes….I trip and fall all the time and people tease me but that’s a given lol, I tease myself for it b/c I agree, its hilarious when people fall). I can’t say that I haven’t had issues trying to protect my reputation though. Throughout the years I have developed a very good reputation, but sometimes when I’m in trouble its hard to ask for help because I feel as though people look at me and think that there is nothing too hard for me….and people most likely DON’T think that at all, but its all about how I perceive how everyone perceives me. Make sense? Lets move on…
“This ego is the identifying mark of who we are as a human being and we’ve Edged God Out. What we want to do is remove that part of ourselves that says, ‘Who I am is what I have, what I do, and what others think of me’, and then the ego says ‘ you are not only what you have and what other people think of you, but you are separate from everybody else. You are separate from God, which is the most egregious thing the ego teaches us, you know, that we are separate from our creator. BUT we came from our creator, we must be like what we came from. We all have a divine soul within us, that we came from and that we’ll return to.”
I think that is such a powerful statement. “We all have a divine soul within us, that we came from and that we’ll return to.” I think regardless of your religion this statement can be identified by everyone. We all are amazing, people. A loving and caring group of humans.
Albert Einstein said about quantum physics and so on, “I’m not at all interested in the details, all I want to know is How does God think? I want to think like God thinks.”
Dr. Dyer then expands on this quote stating that if we all try to think like God thinks, like how our source of living thinks, we should be a human race of always giving, always offering, always providing, it is never asking anything back from us. “If you can learn to be like that, then its learning to be without EGO.”
That is HUGE! Can you imagine what this world would be like, how life would be without EGO? Things would be so pleasant, and so much more meaningful, and rich, and beautiful. If we could all wake up in the mornings appreciating the simple fact that we are alive and able to make a difference in someone’s life today. To go out into the world with the goal of doing as much good as possible for others rather than always doing things for ourselves.
A persian poet said, “Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth ‘You owe me’. Just think what a love like that can do, it lights up the whole world.”
I think this persian poet really helps put things into perspective. Mother nature does so much for us but never looks at us and says “you owe me”. No, she keeps giving and giving and giving. Why do we not try to be like Mother Nature?
Radical Humility: a place where we just take our ego out of the picture and we stop trying to make ourselves better than anybody else and we get into a practice of just giving and just offering and serving.
The more we practice this radical humility the more it comes back to you.
It just sounds so simple right? It’s extremely hard for me not to be competitive, I have let competition define my entire life. Until now. I am making a goal for myself to wake up everyday, and go out into the world and really do something substantial for someone EVERYDAY, EVERY SECOND of EVERY MOMENT. I will respect everyone, and LOVE everyone. I will fail, yes, its being human. But, I will rejoice in the Lord and let His love pour out from me and onto others. I am not the smartest when it comes to citing biblical texts, but I do know His Love and its amazing.
“that’s what life really is, its being in a space of appreciation.” In a room He said, “Sale your cleverness, and purchase bewilderment.” Get in a state of awe, get in a state of total bewilderment about everything. Let that ego go.
One word. BEAUTIFUL.
Here are Dr. Dyers 7 steps to overcoming the ego’s hold.
1. Let go of being offended
2. Let go of your need to win
3. Let go of your need to be right
4. Let go of your need to be superior
5. Let go of your need to have more
6. Let go of identifying your self on the basis of your achievements
7. Let go of your reputation.
I know this post is extremely long, but I hope that it speaks volumes to each and every individual that reads it. For me, this has been a very personal post. After seeing this video and really looking deeper into the message of what Dr. Wayne W. Dyer has said, I am really starting to reflect on myself, and making those changes in my life in order to start trying to be as much like God as I possibly can.
I hope you all have an amazing weekend filled with lots of giving, loving, and just pure, beautiful life. 🙂